Hey Kids, Want Drugs!?

Today a friend introduced me to I-Doser, a brainwave software that gives your mind the safe effects of drugs.

Sounds a bit sketchy to me, but hey, WHY NOT TRY DRUGS!

(Don't get me wrong - I disapprove of true drugs, I'm just making fun of the ones who do them).

The Lost One: Kathryn's Autobiography

The Lost One

autobiography of Kathryn

* For the safety and well-being of myself, I have had to remove city names, hide identities, and take a mere few details out of the paper. It is still a master piece, and I am very proud of it. I scored an A on this paper, with a 28 out of 30.

I am a teenage girl: an example of life. I am extroverted. I am opinionated and I am confident in what I do. I am not perfect. I am stubborn. I am defensive. I am nervous. I am different. But I am me. I am Kathryn. And I am resilient, amazing, talented, loud, happy, a little bit complicated, and a whole lot unique. I was born on May 24^th, 1994 in a California town called “Fresno”, to mother Lissa, and father Cruz. Lissa and Cruz met when Lissa dialed the wrong number, and as fate would have it, ended up having a long conversation with an intriguing man, whom she would later meet and fall in love with. I was a planned baby: nothing out of the ordinary. Lissa was an artist. An organized woman: a decorator, and a writer. Cruz was quite opposite. He enjoyed automobile engineering, and fixing car radios. Sadly, shortly after I was born, Cruz left us to fend for ourselves. Lissa was young, and had nowhere to turn for help. She knew she had to make a heart-breaking decision, and put me up for adoption.

Six weeks after my birth, the papers were signed, the interviews had been made, and I was given to an incredible family, consisting of couple Margaret and David, who resided in Washington. They were so joyful to have a baby of their own, and to watch every new development I made. I was a very kooky baby. I talked early on, ate pretty much anything including rocks, and never crawled. All in all, I developed into a healthy tot, who hinted at artistic talents since pre-school, creating my own plates and light switch covers, decorating most everything with pasta shells. Acting, among other things, was also something I enjoyed doing.

I began kindergarten in 1999 with a teacher I will never forget. Her name was Wendy. On the first day of school, she laid all the kindergarteners down, and sprinkled what she called “fairy dust” on our heads: promising us that our wishes would be fulfilled and we’d have a super great elementary experience. I still remember that moment with perfect clarity. All this changed when I entered first grade that next fall. I lost my best friend that I had since pre-school when she picked a new best friend over me, and I began experiencing fear of separation from my parents. Little did I know, when I was 12 years old, I would be diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder that would make it nearly impossible for me to live life like the average kid. I went through that selfish phase, like every other kid, but there were other occurrences that stood out from the rest. I would pick one friend, and cling to them. They were my security blanket when my parents could not be there. We would exclude other people from our duo, and made other kids feel bad. When I say feel “bad”, no, I do not mean bully them. That was turned around on me for six traumatic years. Hating is not in my nature, I tend to forgive and let go easily. Though some of the kids in fifth and sixth grade have not changed since, I have to the extreme. I am done with the close-minded, immature, ignorant, and pathetic atmosphere that my elementary and middle school possessed.

When I was seven years old I was diagnosed with medium level asthma. I did not enjoy the medicated heat through tubes, so twice every day I had to do a medicated puffer. When I was ten, I had a cold, and I ate some tomato soup. Tomato soup is spicy, and it aggravated my throat – causing my airways to get blocked. I was choking for air, and the emergency medication would not work. This is what has become my near-death experience. Since then, I have nearly recovered from my troubles with asthma. I battled it for about six years. I have overcome other health problems, including poor stomach health, breast cysts, allergies, skin conditions, A.D.D., and an intolerance to the protein in cow’s milk. I cured myself with hope and by not giving up on my faith that I would heal. Some of them were easy diagnoses, and I could easily work on curing them. Others included paranoia and anxiety of what the heck was inside of me, affecting my body in these strange ways. Each one of my health complications has made me the strong person I am today. It has taught me to not give up, even if it is horribly hard to fight. It has also taught me to see the good in life, even when it goes sour.

I left public school after sixth grade ended, with the drive to pursue online school for the following three years, including my freshman year in high school. While I was online, I developed relationships and friendships with people in cyberspace. I interacted through web camera, microphone, and texting with these individuals. They were some of the most inspiring human beings I have met in my life.

Growing up, figure skating was a big part of my life. My grandmother would record tapes, and I would curl up in front of the TV contently watching their grace and talent. In June 2007, I began posting my own figure skating montages on YouTube.com, becoming one of the biggest and best known figure skating montage makers. I began publishing my poetry online in March of 2008, and received positive feedback from decent grown-up authors with publicized novels, such as Richard Lee Orey, a court room drama novelist and poet. In September of 2008, I figured I would open a blog-slash-website, to put it all together in one place. All of my talents have continued to grow, and I am very pleased with them.

My favorite figure skaters are Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. Katia lost Sergei at the age of 24. He died of an unexpected heart attack while practicing for an upcoming tour of Stars on Ice, one of America’s most famous ice shows including World and Olympic champions. He was 28. Even though this death did not affect me personally, it left an inspiring mark on my heart. Death, you could say, has been a semi-big part of my life.

The first death I experienced was a driver running a red light, crushing a bicycle rider onto the sidewalk. My dad noticed the accident and told me he was going to get out of the car and help the man, and told me not to look at the sidewalk. Being curious me, of course I had to. To this day I wish I had not, but I realize that sometimes seeing the bad in life makes you thankful for the good you have.

Shortly after that, I was affected by the death of peace activist Cor. Cor had visited our fourth grade classroom right before visiting Pakistan to protest against the destruction of homes. She was standing in front of a bulldozer, and it ran her over. I attended memorials, and a march in honor of her. That was the first time I pondered the meaning of life and death. I came up with the association that it was a healthy, natural thing that we all will have to endure someday. While unexplainable, it is also something we have to deal with from a witness’s point of view.

A year later, I witnessed my mother and grandmother struggle with the death of my uncle John, who committed suicide from incurable depression. Two years later, my best friend Caz died from a tragic drowning incident while white-water rafting. Three months later, my father’s mother Marge passed away of old age.

I am not positive about what I want to do with my life, but I know I want to be some sort of therapist: possibly a relationship counselor. I believe that my duty here on earth is to heal and help people, as that is a natural talent and something I enjoy doing immensely. I chose my current school because I was sick of being out-casted and thought it could help me fit in better. I am mature and here for learning, I am not some nobody who does not care about their future. I want everything for myself. Everything I can get my hands on.

I would say I have been through a lot, but not half as much as some other people. It saddens me to this day, how much I had to experience at such a young age with poor health, deaths, and ongoing hatred. I used to be a lost, confused and saddened kid, living in a world of turmoil. Now I can breathe, let loose and realize that this is what life is about: learning, and improving. Holding on to the past: only as a reference to the future. I suppose my own conscious taught me to let go of things I cannot control, and some self soul-searching helped me find happiness from life. You’re never going to get anywhere if you let somebody trample all over you. I hope you can look around you and find happiness in every day, no matter what your situation happens to be. Take my advice when I say that life is over before you know it. It is the journey that truly matters, not the destination.

Summmer 2009 Reflection

Summer 2009, sheesh where to start!

Well, firstly, I loved it. The ups.. and the downs.

Technically you'd start school in September and end in June. For me, I missed two course credits for Art and English, and missed my deadline. I had backed down in May, so my summer kinda started in May. It sucked big time, because I worked really hard on the classes.

There was a bunch of drama in June. I got back with a boyfriend that had cheated on me, thinking he had changed when it might not have been the best idea. He didn't cheat again, as he wouldn't dare, but we just didn't work out. I gave up a semi-good relationship with one of my closest friends in the process. I've felt guilt ever since.

July was a good month. Things got better when the fourth hit. We held a BBQ, I had some nice conversation, and watched the Macy's Fireworks Show on TV. Our city's fireworks aren't until mid-July when the carnival takes place. They had some new surprises for us like giganticccc heartttsss EXPLODING within the sky!! Yes, you have to be that enthusiastic about fireworks. The carnival was great. I went with my friend Emily. We didn't go on any rides that were too fast (*cough*) or too high. There was what we called a "kiddie coaster", we thought it was harmless... until we took a bumpy ride. It went around the track possibly 80mph, and up and down. Uncool.

It took a while for August to take me off to Spokane, Washington to visit family friends, and then to Sandpoint, Idaho for our family vacation. Sadly I got sick, but I recovered fast. Summer besides vacation and the little things here and there such as shopping, jet-boating, and hanging out with friends was pretty lousy and boring. I couldn't wait to go back to school.

What I will remember most from Summer 2009: Going jet-boating and getting SOAKED from the water, eating delicious burgers in Portland, Powell's books, renting a house in Idaho, bubble baths and swimming in the lake, cigs with Megan, carnival with Emily and eating a box of 12 donuts straight with Elli. Spending every night on the phone with Jeremy, and pulling all-nighters. But most of all, letting loose and being a teenager.

6 Things You Shouldn't Do on The First Day of School

Okay, I'm in the mood for a goofy post. So here we go!

Based on real life experiences I've had at schools (that I shouldn't have done!), I've created a list of 6 things you shouldn't do on the First Day of School.

1). Don't talk yourself up. Stay quiet, and listen to OTHER people talk themselves up.

2). Don't kick & scream at the people who talk themselves up, remember they're just as conceited as you are.. only not holding their tongues.

3). Look the teacher in the eyes, so they see you're a content listener... and so your eyes don't wander to their ass.

4). If that teacher catches you staring at their ass, don't bite your lip and say "I like your jeans, where did you get them?" - as this will scare the teacher off.

5). Don't ask a guy/girl out. That's better left for within the second month back at school.

6). If a guy/girl just so happens to ask you out, don't ask them if they want to go get "hammered" at a party. Thiiiis will most likely get your head hammered off!

Tess's 8th Birthday : Party Time!

Today Tess had her 8th birthday party and I got to hold a newborn for the very first time! It was great; there was nice food, and cute little kids.

Though, of course, I had to be the one stung by the bee! I don't think it was a yellow-jacket, just because the sting wasn't that bad (pain-wise). It has become a bit itchy, but nothing medication is needed for.

Wish me a fast recovery!

Back to School Shopping '09

Today I completed my very short and simple back-to-school shopping trip. I might have a few more things to purchase, but for a start, it's a good one!

I was totally against backpacks this year, and couldn't find a good messenger bag. Sooo, we ordered this one from eBags. Cool ain't it?

My favorite back-to-school finds would have to be...

1). Journals from Target that say things such as "i am a notebook, someday i hope to be a..." with a graphic of an object such as a toilet paper roll, or coffee cup. Great representation of recycling, but funny at the same time. They're on sale, but running out!

2). The paper holder collection from Staples. You take a plastic box, as you can see above, and fill it with as many paper clips/holders as you'd like, with a pre-set price depending on the box size. Mine was $4.99.

Happy Back-to-School!

A Day at the Boat Show

Today Emily and I went out to the boat show downtown. We had a great time, and ate some junk. We even went on a few boats!

Yeahh.. after we tried to steer the boat, it kinda tipped to the side. Was amusing.. but scary.

I came home to a house full of boys. Jeremy's cousins were over: Wyatt (4) and Brady (9). And of course his nephew Andrew (14). All were screaming and trying to wave/talk to me from the webcam. Wyatt looks a ton like I did as a tot. I wonder if this is a sign...

Anyway, the evening was exhausting, and it became more into the night. Buuut we won't talk about that. Tomorrow is back to school shopping, and don't even get me started on how nervous I am becoming!

Ugh. My life is one big mishap.

Today is the end of my "Summer 09 with ReadySetShine" montage series. I'm sad, but I've got a bunch of great new songs to share with you.

Today I was busy shopping for hair stuff over at the beauty supply store, and found out right before my shower that I bought the wrong kind of blow-drying straightener nozzle. Ugh x.x

When I got out of the supply store, I saw this angry guy yelling at his daughter because she was throwing a tantrum. It attracted a lot of attention, I'll tell you that much. At least I wasn't that bad. Or maybe my parents just didn't have that quick of a temper...

Meh, anyways.

Today I reconnected with a girl I attended Elementary school with. I thought she hated me and gave me dirty looks in 4th grade, but turns out she actually likes me! I'll be going to school with her and her best friend, whom we reconnected through. It should be a blast, but I'm getting a tad nervous.

My life could not get any more messed up. I love it!

The Joy of Text

The other day I was looking around the downtown mall and found a new boutique that had opened up, geared to later high school/College students.

I purchased two books, "The Joy of Text" and "Where Will You Be 5 Years from Today?". They = rock.

The Joy of Text is written by Kristina Grish, all about the woes of online dating. She explains how to spot a man for who he truly is based on his communication style, how to use smileys dirtily, how to spot a cheater, and many do/don't lists. Boyyyy could I have used this a year ago! Because of its sexual context and language, it is certainly geared for 13+.

"Where Will You Be 5 Years from Today?" is written by Dan Zadra, with further editing. It's not exactly a book you would read. It's an interactive fill-in-the-blank. You can find out what your purpose in life is, create a mission statement for yourself, and even find out how many days you have until you die! Sounds kinda creepish, I know. But once you start, you'll be closer to accomplishing your life-long goals in no time. It is chalk full of inspirational quotes. While I was reading it, I found it appropriate for any age, but a little higher material than what somebody of my age would typically need. It's questionably geared for 17-18+.

Go out and take a look at these books, you won't regret it!